Discover yourself and move forward

…I started  by thinking about my future, a sheet of paper and a pencil in my hand and I started to make notes. What was I going to plan?
An hour later the paper was still blank. Was I going about it the wrong way? I couldn’t think of anything I could actually do because I had no idea where I was trying to get to or even what there was to work toward.
The future is as blank as that sheet of paper.
So that’s it then I decided…do nothing, wait and see. That felt all wrong though.

So…I turned over the sheet of paper (yes I know it doesn’t make much difference does it)  Actually it does, I found for some strange reason.

OK I thought, this time I’ll write down the things that I have already, the pieces of my life that matter to me.
Top of the page I wrote:  I’m positive, I want something better…great start! Next I wrote down things I liked most…my treasures if you like. Next, the things I like to do; I was on a roll, this list was proving easy.
Next: the skills I have and education and experience I have gained so far. After that I added another list of the things I’m good at; here I added the things I like to do also. I allowed my favourite pastimes and indulgences! Why not, when I build a new life, these would have to be a part of it.

My page soon filled up with all manner of personal skills, likes and pleasures. I also knew who and what was important to me.
The first line, I’m positive, now seemed more important than when I wrote it, because now I had a list of why I am that way. I knew when I turned that page over again…I had something to write, something to include in my future…I just had to plan how to arrange it all.
When you set off on any journey  you need the right things for the trip and knowing what you want and need when you get there.

I think I have mine! It won’t be the same as yours…it won’t be the same as anyone’s. Time to turn over the page…

It’s important to know what matters but equally what doesn’t. I will have to be harsh about this. A friend said to me, ‘when I became a trans women I knew I had to start again. I took with me my skills but left behind my achievements and experience.’