Tips on transitioning MTF

I thought I would share my experiences of transitioning MTF (male to female)
Some useful tips: some I found and did…some I wish I had done earlier. You have decided, that is step one. 
The most important part of transitioning is planning.
I came ‘out’ as the woman I am inside, 4yrs ago. I have lived everyday as a woman since. I have had SRS (sex reassignment surgery) top (boobs), bottom (you know) and voice.
Everything here is my personal experience. That is the most important tip. Learn from those that have done it, and professional medical persons who know what they are talking about.

When you decide to tell the world you are a trans woman, remember, once you say it out loud…you can’t unsay it. Choose your time careful.
Most people I have know wanted to get onto HRT (hormone replacement therapy) ASAP… that is natural, the magic tablets will do all the work! Well sorry they don’t, it is a slow process (up to 5yrs) HRT will make a huge difference but there is a lot more too it than that.
Getting onto HRT (depending where you live in the world) you need a doctor, as they are prescription only. The first thing you have to do, is convince your doctor that you mean it and you know what you need to do.
‘I can’t do anything until I’m on HRT!’ I hear people say. That couldn’t be more wrong. 

TIP 2: Is ‘passing’ (being perceived as a women in the street) important to you?
(I’m still deciding how best to lay out these updates.)
Everyone is different: At the outset it is most likely you want to live as a woman, dress as a woman, look like a woman; you may want to sound like a woman too?
Feminising your Voice is TIP 2
It is fair to say it takes at least a year to feminise your voice. Like a beard the thing next likely to show your male body is to speak like a man. In my opinion, it is the most important gender signal of all. As soon as you open your mouth your gender is clear. On the phone it is 100% how your gender will be determined.
To pass in public you have to feminise your voice: being misgendered is inevitable if you don’t.
So start on that ASAP!
There are many ways to begin: online tutorials and lessons are free much of the time and that is a good place to start. It’s also private, no-one need know you are doing it.
I wrote an article on this here at TGH if you want my story.
Lets debunk some myths:
HRT will not change your voice. Testosterone changed the shape of your throat and vocal chords during puberty, that is non reversible.
Surgery can lift the pitch of your voice but cannot alter your lynx ( the chamber in your throat that resonates sound, is bigger in males)
Pitch alone will not make you sound like a woman: it is a big help but isn’t the major factor. Many woman have deep voices.
Surgery is the last option not the first. Experience and data shows if you ‘feminise’ your voice with voice coaching you may not need surgery. If you do need surgery it will be the cherry on the cake for your voice.
There are 9 major elements of the female voice, pitch is only one.
You may get lucky with surgery and you may not. Find out before you book surgery.

Now these voice lessons are hard work, not cheap, and I strongly suggest a one to one voice therapist rather than free Youtube tutorials. It is the first step…but not the answer for most people, I would say a course of 12, 1hr sessions is the standard program.

Add this to hair removal and you are well on the way to passing’.

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Tip 3: Body Shaping. Looking like the women you dream of, takes a lot of work!
We have to take an Apple body shape (chest and waist) and turn it into a Pear shape (narrow waist and wide hips/thighs). Hmm that sounds difficult.
It takes time…a lot of it. Starting early is going to make a huge difference to your transition. If you are slim anyway…you can skip this bit.
I thought I was pretty good, BMI ( body Mass Indicator) was in the green…ish. I few pounds overweight but hey looked ok. Well for a male yes, typical barrel (Apple shape) body. Well that needs to change to small waist torso and curvy hips.
How?
What I was looking for was was to ditch the fat and not create muscle. In fact much of that muscle has to go, so no gym! 
If you are just starting out…or thinking of transitioning I suggest you get your body in shape now! Estradiol and Testosterone blockers (HRT) will reduce your muscle mass but they won’t reduce body fat. Also the last thing I wanted was to turn muscle into fat: which it does by the way.
There are so many claimed ways to lose weight. It depends on age, genetics and lifestyle. Body fat (that stubborn belly fat) gets harder to shift as you age. Over 50 it gets even harder. But anyone can do it. 
The diet that has worked best for me is a  reduction in food volume and reduced carbs.and sugar.
I make cauliflower rice instead of ordinary rice, potato, pasta and bread. It is easy to make (or buy though not as nice) It tastes ok it really does. I eat it most days.
Also it is a power-food…check it out.
I should have started this weight reduction 6months before I came out…but I didn’t. and I regret it.
Note to self: most of the women’s clothes I bought in the first 6months are now far too big. Wasted money.
Take photos of yourself at the start. When you look back you will see how far you have come. Believe your tape measure, it doesn’t lie. Believe your scales and believe the mirror. When my gender dysphoria kicks in, I look back at those photos and think…really! You will be surprised how much you change…even if most days it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. 
One other thing, lose the weight before your bust grows on HRT. Losing weight after that, that precious cup size reduces depressingly on a diet.
Myth buster: it isn’t possible to lose weight from specific areas of your body. Lose it everywhere then, hopefully, hormones will put it where you want it! No guarantees on that one though…sorry.
Golden tip: don’t go on starvation diets. I gave myself an eating disorder by being stupid early on. I still have a problem if I don’t watch how I eat. I’ve learned my lesson.
Controlled loss works best.

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Tip 4: knowing your own mind?

This tip is triggered by the question ‘does everyone want SRS!

There was so much going on when I first came out: what will my family and friends say? How sure am I that this is right for me? It’s all pretty scary! How much do I open up?

I knew in my own mind that I had to be Alexandria…but who would Alexandria be? If I’m honest, I wasn’t sure. I’m pretty pragmatic, so I thought to take it a little at a time, see how much people would accept.
Some trans girls I know are totally focused on where they want to get to from the start…whatever the cost to their lifestyle.
Originally I intended to just be whatever I end up being, which left everything up for grabs. If that meant I was going to end up gender neutral, that’s what I would be. The last thing I wanted was to look foolish and not be the genuine me. That may have been the case looking back at some of the clothes I wore! I feel it better to let family and friends grow with you. 

In short, I had no clear idea where my path would take me. I don’t think that is a bad thing. Where I am now has been a series of small steps. One big suggestion is don’t try and squeeze yourself into a role you don’t fit. Wear what suits you today…tomorrow is another day.
All surgeries are a mystery and big step. There is so much to find out and so much to consider. Do what feels right for you right now and allow yourself the option of changing your mind or moving in a different direction if you feel you should. We are all different and there is no ‘ideal’ to achieve.

HRT takes time…and we are impatient for results but also our emotions are changing too. Both take time. Transition is a marathon not a sprint…very true words.

Alex